I wish I really went to Mardi gras! Truth is, I did not! What I did was to traipse around Bourbon street which I had not stopped wondering about since I first heard about. I have seen parades, the stuff of real dreams or nightmares, not many rival the floats of Nottinghill in London and I had been subjected to them again and again. I therefore was not that interested in the krewes. I wanted to see the only ingredient that I hadnt seen before and that was Bourbon street on Fat Tuesday.
So, woke up determined to be good and work, and work worked or it did until my sister called to tell me about the great Jamaican place at which she would be getting a to-die-for oxtail lunch. Then it went south becos at that time, I was yet to get breakfast(what? dont judge me, its not every day I feel like work!).
Anyway, I was still trying to score a ride into New Orleans but knowing my ride-giver, he would do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted but I had tools he knew nothing about. So I sat there, pretending to work as I imagined the oxtail and tried to coax myself to get up and go get the dodo I had made to eat with the rest of my bokoto for my lunch. It just did not sound as appealing as an oxtail cooked by someone else (food ALWAYS tastes better if I dont have to do the cooking of it!). Anyway, we agreed on a time and I got ready. As we proceeded, I was prepared to be surprised and boy! Was I not?!!!We parked safely and made our way on foot. My friend was unwilling to be excited (spoilsport!) but I was ! I was here to have me some fun.
We started right by getting something to lower our restrictions (ie a drink). We got a Jester becos it was touted to be the best daquiri available, and cautiously proceeded. Under the balconies, I watched cautiously as people walked by and stopped to beg for beads from other people on the balconies above me and I saw gestures suggesting them to pay for the beads if they wanted them. The payment was varied but based on the same theme, flash it!
I watched as different ages women showed off their breasts in order to get these beads. I was shocked but it was exhilarating at the same time. The naked girls I had seen on the parades in London had heavily muscled guys keeping anyone who thought about approaching them away except the girls approached you, in which case the guys just hung around in case anything went sour. I must say, its commendable that even though a lot of naked flesh was on display, there was no groping that I could see going on.
Everyone kind of just moved along and if asked to show and they didnt, the worst that happened is that no beads were thrown! My friend got me some of the beads, being taller, he had a better chance at catching them and I felt bad to be asking for beads when I could not pay, covered from head to toe ( well, almost!) as I was.
After a few more sips of my Jester, I became emboldened, and stepped out asking for some beads and got them! I was most surprised and started to giggle. I know I got totally sloshed and was laughing so hard at some point but stopping would have been a major miracle, I kept insisting I was fine and I truly was, if being so drunk, it took an act of will to get my legs to walk and my hands to take pictures is fine. Looking at the pictures, I laugh at how very well focused on any subject they are...................................NOT!!!The look on my friend's face suggested that I was far gone and at some point he looked at me, shook his head and told me he was not going to carry me which kind of sobered me up real quick....the indignity of that will mess up my enjoyment, I thought!
I need to list my favorite things though......I enjoyed a lot of things but these are top.....1. My most memorable thing of the night that I liked was a guy who had a thingy in his hand and when I approached, he made me understand it was a tit-meter(needs to be seen to be believed!check my fb wall for pic!). He asked me multiple times till I said I knew my size and I thought as I walked away, 'no one here has better tits,even if I say so myself'! That was hilarious. Truly funny and I meant the tit-meter, not my thoughts.
2. I found it unbelievable that the topless girls were unchaperoned yet without any feeling of shyness or fear about being groped. I remember being groped by Ibo guys at Tejuoso fully clothed and shuddered to think of what would ensue if a naked girl went in there. Needless to say, I have since learnt to carry a pin in my bag for shopping trips to any such markets.
3. I saw some preachers who were in the middle of the whole sea of people dressed much as I was and preaching 'Homo sex is sin' and 'Repent, Your party will end in the lake of fire' with their huge signs. But the most innovative was one, a parody of the sign 'Huge Ass beers' that said "Huge Ass Blessings'! He got more attention, methink. His friend had a huge smiley with the sign, 'Smile! Jesus likes your smile'. I cant be quoted though cos I hardly remember how it all played out!
4.I found out how very heterosexual I am, the most distasteful thing I had the distinct displeasure of seeing were 2 girls who for the beads, put on a show of cuninglingus (eeewww!) but you should have seen how the beads came pouring down on them! My friend was most disgusted about the fact that she had no panties on....duh!
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