RELATIONSHIP?

I dont know what this will be called yet but its burning me up and I must write it.

He is an adult but you can hardly tell. He is such a baby but only those who relate closely can tell. Every thing is about him, he refuses to step up and take responsibility but its her fault in some way. Every time she looks at him, she's thinking maybe this will be the day that he finally gets it that he needs to make a change. Maybe today but then again, maybe not. 

It does not help that she knows what a good man should be but she waits, but only becos she has seen glimpses of it in him. She knows that good men dont compel you not to have a life becos you are in relationship with them, they know that your relationship is with them and not half the city you live in. And they can look away when you talk to a stranger becos that's who you are, that's your essence, does not mean you want to sleep with that stranger, its so she and him can have something new to talk about when they do talk. 

Why then will he not change? Its obvious he likes her, he adores her, she makes him feel all the things he likes to feel but he is afraid that she will make another feel the same thing. She cries out everyday! I am not interested in any of those guys! I like to relate with people but its never about anything, never anything that means anything. Her world revolves around him yet he is scared she is revolving around another. Insecurities can take different shapes but they come in one size only-gargantuan! 

The tragedy is, she is running out of patience, he is killing every kind of emotion that she ever had for him-affection, love, respect, even the pity is leaking out now. He thinks she wants to be promiscuous or even likes being, but very few know her loyalties are diamond-like, rare to find, expensive to buy and not easily strewn about. There is hardly a day that she does not ache for him, in physical and emotional ways. The distance she feels is such that she cries out in pain. He makes her such a prey but for the help of the one she alone knows. 

If she desired, she could have whatever she wants, in any size and colour but she daily declines, daily sets herself up to fail on that front. She daily submits to a higher power but he (tediously) assumes the worst all the time. If you meet her, and you are not careful, you may draw the wrong conclusions, this is cos she surprises even herself daily and makes herself smile at her childlikeness sometimes but she never has it in her to offend or become an object for that is her understanding of all that crap. 

If she does as he thinks, she becomes an object becos her affections lie with another, the one who is her accuser and the one she seeks to validate her and she was purchased with a far higher price than that. He stresses this relationship by his inability to decipher and evaluate what the dynamics are. She wants a man, not a fling, she likes a family not an audience, she slaves for her utopia, not an orgasm (they are over-rated except with the perfect someborri-why do you think porn sites exist?). 

He is an epitome of wrong turns, basing the decision of substance on geography, enduring the wrong type of slavery for all the wrong reasons. Even when he is given what may be a third chance, he allows it to pour through his fingers like the sand on the desert floor. When will he step up? When will it be time to settle and begin to enjoy the great relationship which is what they truly have? I dont know oh, am just an onlooker and I wish he would just do it already. 

I know but for the hiatus, they would have gone asunder, but the hiatus provided a dream -like quality to their relationship. Wish I had his ear and I would read him the script, she loves you and you alone but she feeds off people, relationships, friendships and burns with the fire to light up a quarter of the youth on the planet. 

She wants to be able to share every story of every encounter but has become wary cos he always misunderstands and accuses her based on that tally. 

She wants to be free like she used to be before the course of her life changed with setting eyes on her Prince. I want to tell him, daily she gathers strength and anytime now, she will deal the blow that will liberate her, the blow that will cause a re-discovery of who she was born to be. 

I wonder if he sees clearly enough to understand that. He is not grown enough to understand even that. I am going to have to walk away from this their relationship so that I will not be responsible for whatever happens between them. I like them enough to just walk away and hope that they will find their rhythm by themselves instead of  making me the panacea for their lopsided relationship. I am going, its not me who will be called upon to state what I know about it all. 

What do I know about relationships to qualify to do that? Nothing, absolutely nothing!