If below 18 years, this is not for you! You are barred and if you keep reading, something will pop out and fry your brain in 10 seconds...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1....!!!!!
Let's talk about sex (apologies Salt n Pepa!)!
Yes! I know we should be gooey-eyed and so in 'lurve' today but methinks what each and everyone of us needs is a new awareness of SEX to be able to understand LOVE. And for those of you who kid yourselves that this is not important, well, ignorance is NOT bliss! There are so many groups of people I do not wish to get me wrong with this and I find that if I keep trying to appease everyone, I will end up not saying what I truly need to say with this. So forgive me if I offend your sensibilities, I dont much care. Mine are what matters to me and last time I checked, I was not putting out remotes controlling people and making them do stuff like stop by this blog and read what offends them, so, go figure!
As a deeply-in-love with God person, I have pondered on why God made sexual issues private, I have even gone ahead and sat around with my girlfriends and wondered out loud about why we all did not have a panel on our foreheads that detailed our sexual history and tally of the people we have been with (and I mean that biblically, in the Adam 'knew' his wife sense). I think that would truly simplify relationships and make all the subterfuge unnecessary....picture this...boy meets girl, girl insists she is a virgin,boy asks to see girl's panel, girl reveals a panel with 15 names and claims she meant virgin mother....hilarious!) but boy could at this point choose to go ahead and be number 16 or choose to get off at this point...or is that too simplistic?
I could give you examples of scenarios where this plays out till the end of time and some still would not get it. This is why I will not bother, I just want us all to put sexual needs on the table, acknowledge, assess and decide about these things early on, preferably before you get into your first ever relationship and when your relating begins, you can check off how this person does on your list and see if they will fit the bill or no.
This will help reduce the number of relationships that are consummated before anyone thinks of one of the most important reasons for relationships (yes!read it in the bible and stop kidding yourself!) and why some seem to go from one to the other seeking satisfaction when they are as yet unsure of what that should mean and in the process racking up the numbers and developing a reputation as 'easy' or worse still, promiscuous.
I am a firm believer in the Scouts' motto, 'be prepared' and being prepared means ahead of time, decide what you would like so that when you step into the restaurant and you are faced with mouthwatering choices, you will not pick the wrong thing cos your senses are being overloaded with the aromas but you will firmly and clearly speak what you want and if offered something that may enhance your meal, an informed choice will be the response, which means you will be in charge. Wait, how did this become culinary? No! We are talking about sex!
So, here is the bus stop for the unmarried and if you dont stop reading, you will find out real quick why you are advised to stay away from sexual activities till your wedding night and I will not be responsible for your suffering......go on click on the red X now!!!
For married folk, sex IS everything guys (yes! everyone was holding out on you! I am your ONLY friend!The ONLY one telling you the truth!!). Its the 'thing' that will make a guy endure being treated like crap by the object of his desire cos she has the keys to his loins in her underbelly. Do not fool yourself, understand this and work it, ignore at your own peril. Some deluded folks will say its about feelings and I say balderdash! You traded feelings for sex when you said, 'I do' and sometimes feelings leave and you stay and endure, but once sex becomes the issue, watch everyone scamper away! I was once told, a long time ago by a very wise guy (doubt he thinks I see him as such) who snagged my sister, 'if he is not talking to you, no problem, but if he stops asking for or receiving sex, be VERY worried'!
Promiscuity is on the increase and even though a friend disagrees, saying reports of promiscuity is what is on the increase, I say, same difference! The reports are increasing because the frequency is on the increase. The reason is more and more people are becoming so spiritual and less physical that they are actually donating their spouses to hunter type females who are seeking married wo(men) to devour.....NOT!!! Each married person is just actively pushing their partners out the door asking them to go get laid somewhere, anywhere, as long as its not at home and am wondering why? Is that how lacking in discernment the spiritual ones are? Does being spiritual not confer wisdom in ALL things? Is it right to expect more than what our spouses are capable of from them and then turn around and demand that they come home clean and holy and righteous and true when we are the ones encouraging, nay instructing them in promiscuity? When you get home, confess your sins and repent and start to be the bitch of his/her dreams. Maybe because there is something about sexuality that allows the wrong words to define how good bending over that booty feels and even though I have no perverse tendencies, I wonder what other couples say when they finally let go of the tight control of their emotions....and are coasting free.....shit(?) fuck(? )crap(?) love(?) baby(?)screw(?)....as I said, all shrouded in secrecy! This is why I am amazed some people think approaching a guy naked/half naked will be fine as long as he is called 'man of God' (MOG). Bullshit! ('scuse my french!). As one of the lucky few who has been priviledged to walk in on a such scene early in life (MOG and woman of God who is not MOG's wife doing the nasty....eeewwwww!!!) and remain unscathed, I find that particular movie dated and wish the spiritual ones would get wisdom already! Maybe this is why the 'spiritual' ones are missing it.
Please do not get me wrong, I dont knock holy, righteous and true, I am its advocate but certainly, not at home with your spouse, go ahead and love, honor and respect but keep the action so steamy in the bedroom that they find leaving for work a distraction and hurry back after it cos you only pressed pause when they left. You will be fulfilling them in ways that God approves of and the angels in charge of trying to make infidelity impossible will thank you for the break you give them. I have heard that men want a saint in their home and a bitch in their bed but many spiritual women have become the reverse (do it in your head! I am not writing it out for you!).
This is the reason I like Valentine's! All types get all mushy and lovey and gooey but this Valentine's, how about giving a true gift to your partner by giving the regular patterns of your lovemaking a shot (of bitchiness) in the arm? I know you did not ask my advice (but I ma give it anyhow!), use props and imagery/play acting. The bed is over-rated in the sex zone, its great for sleeping in but for contortions, the type you want to get into without cramping, not so much! The bathroom is great for easy access to cleaning and the kitchen is great especially if you throw in the thrill that the kids MUST not hear you fumbling around....(why do you think the boss/secretary scenario works so much?). The car sitting in the garage is great for re-enacting those 'before we married' times and if you can, spring for a hotel, the luxury may overwhelm and de-stress you like nothing else can.
For those who have something to say about this, take it to your group of friends, I dont want to hear it. I am Nigerian and we dont discuss our sexuality with strangers, so I dont want to know how your situation differs from the regular.....just not interested, busy trying to raise this my husband's temperature by 10 degrees at least so he can begin to approach my level of frustration at being so many miles away from him when all I want to do is kneel before him and be a good wife....(what?! what did you think?go jor!).
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