MY CHOICE

I have been asked several times this week about moving away from Nigeria. I have had that question asked me in very many variety of ways and I have tried to explain in all the ways I understand but seems inadequate. I will attempt to do it one more time. It may suffice, may not but from henceforth, when anyone asks, I can just send them a link to this here and maybe I will do a good enough job this time to make future questions unnecessary.

I live in Nigeria by choice. I was born in Lagos Island and raised there and when I was about 10years old, moved to Badagry with my parents. I have very fond memories of Lagos Island haven lived in Lagos Island before the 'Area boy' phenomenon and even today, it remains one of my favorite places to spend holidays because of the numerous attractions that can be found there for entertainment for my children. I also liked Badagry, I lived there when it was unspoiled and native. I remember my fascination that at the time, women still went around half naked, the half that needed covering being the one left exposed. It seemed like something out of a visit to the Amazon for me at the time. I left all of these behind at regular intervals to go to school in Jos, also before violence marred that heavenly location.

When I left school in Jos, I moved to Ibadan for school and stayed ever since. So I have had a tour of the best places to live in Nigeria you may say. Add to that a wanderlust that makes me get in the car and subject myself to some of the worst roads I have ever traversed and travel and travel till I beg to go home. I have been to Abuja, Minna, Kogi, Delta, Kaduna, Abeokuta, more Ekitis than I care for and a whole other places. So, in essence I have seen quite a bit of this country.

So what makes me choose to live in Nigeria? Not that I could have lived anywhere else at a drop of a hat, but if I desired, I could have chosen to live someplace else and made it happen, but I do not and I didnt. By choice. Now its not some patriotic self sacrificing gene in me that makes that so. Its just that I love Nigeria. I have ever since I have come to understand that's what she is called and she's mine. The responsibility and priviledge of being Nigerian became very apparent to me early in life. I think it was on a trip that I took with my father to London in 1983 with a bunch of people, and  onto the centenary celebrations of the Boys' Brigade in Glasgow. We were made to understand that we were representing Nigeria and anything we did would be a reflection of the same. I took it far seriously than did others and was the group's conscience in some way.

As an adult, it became clear to me that life never handed you anything and whatever you wanted, you had to make happen and I decided I wanted Nigeria to be the most awesome place in the world and I set out to do something about it. I have since revised such lofty goals to impacting young people that I can fire up to carry the Nigerian spirit around the world but I have not stopped believing that Nigeria will become better or that I would have something to do with it. I have been serially disappointed in this desire but I have revised my expectations each and every time and still ended with the same conclusion; I love Nigeria. So, when people ask why I should live somewhere else, usually nicer,never worse, I am at pains to make them understand that those places are the way they are because some people made it so. I want to be able to make the same kind of difference in Nigeria, ok, maybe in Ibadan. I know that change happens slowly and its only been ten seconds or so since I was born so I am willing to keep at it till I see some signs.

I do not begrudge those who have to leave so it can be better, I only concern myself with my understanding of what should  be done, by me. There are those who feel like some are sell-outs becos they left, no, I dont cos I think it will take all of us (no,oh, not those ones who want to become something else, by bleaching their skin and denying who they are, those ones are just sick and geography is not the cure for them!sorry!). I mean each and everyone who has a desire and carries a spark that will impact the people of the world with a Nigerian worldview, yes each of us is necessary.

I remember being met at the airport in Edmonton, Canada by my host who asked what Nigeria was like and me in my (?deluded? or exaggerated optimistic manner?) said to him, 'Just like this but not as big or cold......in other words, perfect!!!'. I laugh now when I think of how naive or insane that sounds (probably the reason he took pity on me and offered me a job that would have made staying easy & why he could not understand why I refused), but ask me if I would change that description if asked the same thing today like 6years after. Not that anything has improved since back home, in fact, things are worse daily from my estimation but its still not enough reason to leave is my take on it all.

Yesterday, three different people shared with me at different times their frustration with how Africans come from Africa on a program and refuse to return when they are done and thus make the transfer of expertise that was the point of bringing them here difficult and I could have told them of a dozen more stories and tell them the reason behind it. Today, I had someone ask me why I would not move my family here becos in her estimation, I would be an asset. I thanked her properly and explained why it would kill me slowly and make me highly ineffective as it would dry up my motivation and kill my drive.

I am sure a lot of people hate it in Nigeria, its probably the reason they dont see how they can make a difference. I should say I have been luckier than most to have opportunity to go and return but I say to people many times that the reason may not be far fetched, may be its cos I am not as desperate to be gone and that translates into how I view opportunities and what I am willing to do to get them? Maybe,maybe not. My most important thought is to use whatever it is that is in me to make a difference wherever I may be. Its not a question of Geography!