MY ESTIMATION


I'd like to know my estimation.A lot of people may not know why but i know why and i'd really like to know my estimation. i have been told many things by all the people around me, i have chosen to believe some of it but when my most basic relationship begins to show wear and tear,i kinda wish i could know my estimation. i have been told i am nice, kind, nasty,gracious, responsible, wayward and many other adjectives have been used to describe me but the single one that really gets me is the P one.....i have always thought i wasnt but spend 10years being told you are and one morning, you'll wake up and believe you are and I AM NOT!!!!I have prided myself on knowing what i want and being able to go for it. I have found help and what i needed in the most diverse places ever. I have also accepted greek gifts while ensuring that the hidden warriors never got into my town but giving out for gain be it monetary, emotional or any other way was always my call and though i talk a good game,i give sparingly on this one. That's why i'd still like to know my estimation. perhaps my naivete has gotten the better of me and i am something in my own eyes and something else in the eyes of those who see me.....perhaps. by my own assessment, i tell it like it is, not always the way it needs to be heard but i am learning diplomacy now...yes now that i am becoming an older girl. i may be fiercely overprotective,cos i form associations on suppposed whims but which last. i am objective in my assessment of situations and circumstances to the point where i see the point and cant hide the fact that the point is there. can be a bloody nuisance when a wink is called for.i wish someone would give me an accurate assessment of my estimation.........by the way.....I LOVE ME!!!!!






I wrote the note above a while back on Facebook (2010 November to be precise) and today, I read it again and laugh. Adenike is sometimes tu funi....sometimes melodramatic and sometimes she just needs to stop being so.....je ne sais quoi! 


Life is strange but always interesting. I shudder to reach my life's end and find out that I never lived. 
A feisty young child, 
I remember one of my aunts' weddings and how I danced and danced how I also have a legendary love for parties (till this day!). 
I remember being carefree as a child but thinking the ultimate disappointment was a 'Suze' sticker on my father's vehicle at one time. 
I remember refusing to ever think a mere boy could imagine it was ok to ask me to be his friend (till this day,I seek out my male friends and request friendship which someone called kindergarteney!). 
I remember my acute embarassment at being told by my dad that dating meant sitting in our 'parlour' with my male guest and talking within earshot of my parents (it killed every topic dead!) and I never really had male friends after then except in boarding school. 
I have always thought I had been gifted with a trait which I find very cute-the ability to be misunderstood. 
I always thought it was something I did until I met people who 'got' me and knew it was no fault of mine.
I am growing today and I am very glad that I am able to look back and smile. Self understanding requires a level of honesty that is refreshing and makes me glad that I am so gifted.
Unable, unwilling and very sure,I want so much more out of life than the mediocre I had hitherto settled for but I am not angry at anyone but me for the time wasted. And even though I sometimes query the faith that I used as a crutch to keep from facing facts, I also am grateful for the God who loves me and who will ever be my guide.
Adenike is alive, awake and wants more.........much more than is presently available. 
She is not afraid to ask and is not ever going to be satisfied with the status quo ever again. She knows she has been good, so Santa had better have something in his big bag for her or else.......
She knows now that those who misunderstand her do not value her and so she frees them up to take a walk. She will be fine! She is unable and unwilling to settle, which is even more than what she has had to live with up till now, but now, she's going for life on terms that work......for her!
There is no doubt about it! She is a queen! If you see the drama, you are not her king!!!