MY VALENTINE....

I love everyone! That's because everyone is available to me! I am of the opinion that y'all were put here for my entertainment or whatever it is I need, there will be someone somewhere who will rush up to make it their life work to provide it. Its just the way it is, you can hate all you want.Its just the way it is! But what annoys me no end is the one whose attention and TLC I want is the ONLY one impervious to my charms. But why? Whose sick joke was this?Will be having words with those angels in the 'cupid' department when I get up there! To make my heart pant after the one guy who will not jump when I ask. The one I want to tremble at my touch thinks its sandpaper. The one who should cry out my name turns and hisses in his sleep and I cant help but wonder if its at the remembrance that he is in bed with me. When will I awake and find it is no longer so? 

The same way I love everyone is the same way I am cursed with a brand of loyalty that Jesus wanted in his disciples and found wanting. It takes major catastrophe to convince me of  person's inability to be good.I just believe all people have good in them and it takes a chance (1 chance tho!) to make them express it. I have been waiting on him for too long and it seems the harder I try, the worse it becomes. I can only assume the worst that I am his hell and he just needs to get away from me to experience a taste of heaven. 

She is not good, not at all. She makes hell attractive for him because he has a need to make her happy. His eyes follow her everywhere like the devoted slave he is. He looks away every time she turns around. An onlooker will think she looked his way cos she cares but she actually only wanted to know if her actions have the desired effect of twisting the knife she stuck in when she shut him up when he asked if she was alright. I want to reach over and slap her hard across her pretty face, and I realise that's all she is, a pretty face and I wonder why men are so cerebral in that way. He is a great guy and should be able to see that's all she is. Still, it doesnt stop him having that puppy dog look on his face as he follows her progress from man to man. She is good at what she does, she stops at every guy's table, bends over and gives just a glimpse of her voluptuous chest so that they are straining to get a better view and then she looks back at him.....with an evil look on her face as if to say, I could get anyone of them you know. All of them are envying him but he is the only one who knows what his hell is.....

What is the ingredient that makes a man fall for a woman? Or makes a woman agree to belong (?) to a man? If I knew, I would quit my day job and bottle it two seconds after I patent it and retire to that beach house to the right of the US on the South of it after installing the fastest internet access I could get so I could keep in touch with Zuckie boy who interests me like no man's business (but another story for another day!). But unfortunately, am still in the early stages of researching this particular question and I will let you know when I find a resource that has an idea. 

So my advice is this, (trying to sound like you have not heard IT all before multiplied by a million!) love like you have never been hurt-whoever said that has NEVER been hurt obviously! Dance like no one is watching- only it kinda feels a little better when there's an audience to make you truly let go, an appreciative audience! You know what, all these crap advice dont do it for me. If someone breaks your heart, break their legs-body part for body part, no? If the guy you want loves another girl, kill her and help him recover from the loss!!Yes! That's more like it. Only, I must warn you like all good dispensaries, I should give a 'caveat'- using any of these prescriptions is likely to earn you a bad reputation but more than that, a LOT of solitary time in a small room with bars, if you get my drift so why dont we try this another way? 

Dont get even, get ice-cream! If you are a girl, get strawberry ice-cream, it just looks so cool with tear drops in it and when someone walks in, it hides the tears real good. If a guy, get vanilla or mint and no, strawberry ice cream does not mean you are connecting with your sensitive side! It means you may be a worse catch than ANYONE else!!!

Gotta go, this really is my limit! Here is my feelgood prescription for Valentines! Celebrate BEFORE so you can shake your head at all those who didnt get the memo that Val's day 2012 was moved up on the 14th. And you may just decide to do an extended version from today TILL the 14th, how about it.....wink wink!!!