OVERSTIMULATION

I am a poster child for overstimulation most days, trying hard to take in all of the world at once sometimes but  today, you would think with the amount of practice I have had in approaching February 13, I would do a better job, but Oh! No! Here I am, all excited and then somewhere around noon tomorrow, I will peak and the fall will begin, ending with me bawling my eyes out at such a shoddy job I had done with my life the entire year and I would get prepared for a new year with goals that normal human beings should not even be allowed to attempt to have. But I am better prepared this year, what with my life changing experience last year and my resolution to live a little this year which translates to an ounce of selfishness.....well, I aim to de-stress and what better way?

I wanted to write about the hypocrisy of sex today but I cant settle down and give it the attention it requires and the experience I can bring to that (wink wink) as I aim to do this very controversial piece, come what may. I also wanted to talk about my violation by a certain female who entered my apartment and stole, right before my eyes, a flatmate's laptop, honest, I'm still shaking my head at the audacity and sagacity of it. It reminded me of how trusting I am and how very naive it may be to assume in basic human goodness, no such thing exists, especially with humans! Then there was that overstimulating experience I had just had that I am unwilling (or is that unable) to share, delicious and just that! I do not kid myself that it is what I need or want, I am just enjoying each day as it rolls by. And of course, I wanted to share my latest acquaintance, and my excitement may need to quieten down before I can do that because she is just fab!!!My accomplished writer and blogger birthday mate who was introduced to me by a mutual friend and who I cant wait to begin a love affair with (we are still at the shy, getting to know each other stage otherwise known as 20questions by yours truly. She rocks, in any language, God give me many more years to savour her writing that I find has just the right amount of intelligence and wit for my budding literary taste.....(did I hear an Amen?!).

Well, all of these stories may very well get written (what? I gave a caveat before oh!) but today, I aim to pick up a topic that guts me everytime and which I believe is just so pertinent, it should be on the front burner daily! I watched a movie and I loved it, and I wanted to share its message. The movie is titled COURAGEOUS,  and is about four Police officers who were buddies and how one of them suffered a tragedy and this led him on a quest to discover how to be a better father to his remaining child. It was corny as many religious movies go but the message was well received by me and I'd like to reiterate that this is a great movie! It highlighted an absentee father syndrome (not physically) for many of society's ills and I agree. These four guys decided to sign a document that they would hold each other to high standards as fathers and support each other to do the right thing and methinks this is what is seriously lacking in guy relationships that makes it difficult for men to see the trees for the bushes. I can not overemphasize the wonderful things my group of 'gurls' have helped me through but guys just seem to only help each other down a hole, never up. I keep wondering why? Is anyone aware of that scenario where a guy in a group of friends divorces his wife and before you know it, the wives of the other guys can never get it right anymore? Its usually the one in the group who is footloose and fancy free who is envied rather than the one making it work even though it is difficult, amongst guys. This is not an attempt to psychoanalyze guys and score brownie points for women everywhere (why bother? we are so far ahead anyways!) but the truth is there is an increasing detachment of fathers from family life. And guys I dont mean when you just show up and plonk down in a sofa, order everyone around and hog the tv, that's pretty much common. I meant daddies who are there and even when it is hard are doing the right thing without taking it out on the mummy. Those guys are fast becoming the exception rather than the rule. I know there are still very many men out there who are there but that is not enough, you have to step in and make a decision and daily stick with that decision! Women do it all the time, maybe you ask one. One of the men in the movie, asked to speak at a Fathers' day ceremony said, 'While so many mothers have sacrificed to be in their children's lives, they were never intended to carry the weight alone'. This is so true, its not even funny!

He shared his findings in this manner (the guy actually did research!) - I now believe that God desires for every father to courageously step up and do whatever it takes to be involved in the lives of his children, but more than just being there providing for them, he's to walk with them through their young lives and be a visual representative of the character of God.  

I know someone will be quick to say its about church or God but please, this is not cast in stone, insert whatever God you would like or whatever deity or philosophy or whatever it is that directs or motivates you. I usually save my preaching for the pulpit....

 At the end, he makes a call, a call which you can call the punchline of this movie and even though I am watching alone in my room very late in the night, I stand and clap for the insight this call takes, deserves a round of applause, listen......

We are inviting any man whose heart is willing and courageous to join in this resolution (that word again,that word!). 

In my home, the decision has already been made, you dont have to ask who will guide my family because, by God's grace, I WILL! 

You dont have to ask who will teach my son (insert daughter if appropriate) to follow Christ, because I WILL! 

Who will accept the responsibility of providing for and protecting my family, I WILL! 

Who will ask God to break the chains of destructive patterns and family history, I WILL! 

Who will pray for and bless my child(ren) to boldly pursue what God has called them to do?

I am their father, I WILL! I accept this responsibility and its priviledges to embrace it!

I feel like writing GBAM after that with a ton of exclamation marks as there is nothing left to be said. This is what fatherhood is and what it should represent. A lot of young boys are crying and dying in degrees because those who should show them the way are only physically present, emotionally detached and living with a false braggadacio that mimics the school yard of kindergarten which many left behind too long ago. The girls are seeking validation in all of the wrong places because the one who should show them how a 'man' treats a 'woman' is too busy trying to put up a facade of manliness which disputes the sensitivity it takes to love a woman.....smh! 

My favorite scene of all has to be when a 15year old daughter asks to go out with a 17year old boy to the mall and the father asks why and reminds her why she is not yet eligible for such activity. I may have seemed a bit obsessive in writing this, its just it is something that has long burdened my heart but I never knew how to articulate and to see it so well portrayed made me so very glad. If you want to, see the movie, if you dont, fine, nothing will happen, but you can take my word for it, if you are a father or planning to be one at some point, you can not remain the same after watching this movie, something will shift positively and you WILL be the better for it.

PS- A huge shame about Whitney Houston's passing and not mentioning it would be totally disrespectful, considering how many man hours (should that be woman hours?) I have spent mimicking her and trying to form a 'voice'-without success, I might add! Anyway, I felt acute pain because about two weeks ago, I started a re-digestion of her songs in preparation for Valentine's and now she is gone but more than that, my heart goes out to her mum, and my biggest best wishes are for her in all of this. Lord, preserve us from such misery! Amen!