Again!Letter to Prez GEJ of Nigeria!

I woke up to a lovely American morning 6hours behind my folks in Nigeria (Used to be 7hours but I gave up one hour during the night for some reason I am yet to understand!) and world native that I am, decided to check up on happenings in cyberspace.

I sat bolt upright at the news that there had been another bombing in Jos! Jos again?! Bombing again?! And I started to cry because of my inability to be rational. What had happened since the last bombing to prevent this new attack? Why was I fooled into thinking it would never happen again? Did I just hope (and pray?) and think that would be enough? Why have I been so irresponsible with my pain? 

The catalogue of bombings has steadily continued and there has nothing been done to make it go away and so today, 'because I am involved' (apologies Ojukwu!), I want to do what I know to do (for now!), and maybe I will learn skills that will make my involvement better at a later date, who knows?

From: my humble room on the outskirts of the university where I am Fulbrighting
To: Aso Rock which is the last known address of Mr Prez

Dear Sir (again, pls do not confuse this with respect! Mr Taylor taught us to begin formal letters this way is all!)

QUESTIONS FROM ADENIKE

I wrote you an informal letter some time before https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=10150370238465633 but I am worried that the jocular nature of it might have resulted in your inability to understand its message and act accordingly. 

Well, I am educated (sometimes!) and when I do make the effort, can express myself in passable English that may be more understandable for a PhD like yourself.

I am severely worried that part of the orientation that should have taken place at your inauguration did not and this may be the reason that you appear to be missing all the requirements of your position as President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria. As President, may I ask what your job description is? I need you to answer so I can know how much you know so that I can know how to facilitate your effectiveness at this job. Forgive me if I speak as if this is May 29, 2011, but I am yet to see your impact on Nigeria and therefore assumed you had not been sworn in is why. 

To begin, I must address Uncle Reuben because I do know he will get the job of responding and making sure I am aware that the office of the President is sacrosanct and is not open to either criticisms or corrections (only praise and tomfoolery!) from mere mortals. 

Hi Uncle Reuben (again, 'Uncle' here seems like an insult to my true uncles and all those I bequeath the term to by reason of affection, being African!). What happened to you? This is because, I sat and watched my husband and some friends (The AROLE group) who felt they had a voice and wanted to make a difference in Ibadan, spend hours organizing a 'talk' and they all agreed to ask you to the event as 'speaker' and they were all so proud that day and I look at what you have become and 'ekun ngbon mi'. What truly happened? Before you respond, take a minute to read up on today's bombing and know you are as responsible as the suicide bombers! That you do not have your own just rewards does not remove your responsibility. I have tried to excuse your ineptitude at your job by thinking that your best formative journalistic years were under the military and so you knew no better but a person of your intelligence (which is seriously in question) can re-train now! Anyway, please feel free to respond to me as I have seen many kind responses to your poor handling of Mr Prez's press and I have no such issues.  When you respond, please give me your all, because I like worthy opponents and I hope there is some life left in you to do this, it may help your principal see you as you truly are and that will be the only good that comes of it! 

Mr Prez,  you seem incapable of grasping the first thing about responsibility and I suggest you get your letter-headed paper and spend time on each word thereon. You are described as 'President and Commander-in Chief of the Armed Forces of the Federal Republic of Nigeria'. It is no mean feat! Ojukwu gave a lot to command Biafra and her army, which is but a fraction of your territory and showed multiple amounts (X100 raised to power infinity!) of understanding of what is required to have a peoples' destiny in his hands. You have not! Your utterances give me cause for alarm, daily! Your policies (what policies?!) are at best without thorough focus and very unresponsive to identified problems and issues on ground! You are exactly 0% proactive! Everything has to happen before you rouse yourself and do something, sometimes several days late and so ineffectual. You worry me greatly because I am Nigerian and truly proud to be, but not because you give me any reason to be. You constantly cause me pain (shame) that you are the best my country could do. I will not even juxtapose you with other world leaders, because that will be unfair to them, there should at least be some reason to do that (and last time I checked, there's just none, zilch!). 

I need to stop now as I have overshot my daily allowance of Queen's English and strange as it may sound, my head hurts from thinking about you. I do not expect that you will see this and respond but if you do, pls feel free to respond. You can even go one up and do it yourself, after all, we are friends on fb ( I wonder why?). But pls dont patronize me by sending a statement through Reno, that will make me mad! That guy is worse than Uncle Reuben, and he does a poor job of telling what you are about (at least on Twitter sha!). I would have liked to end with pleasantries (as Mr Taylor taught us) but honestly (ask those who know me) have none for you right now. 

Adenike.

PS- Did I forget to tell you that your letter to the Italian and British should say you killed those people as you do your own people daily because you are too clueless to see that you need to pack your bags and return to the place where you came from as this job is way out of your league? Yes na! (I 'pologize, english is boring!). Who nor know say you nor get liver for do this job except Aunty (seriously?) Peche? You suppose don comot since beht sha, I know say you need to settle all of your paddy guys dem. Abeg, e don do now!, comot already! Last count, you are responsible for more deaths than we care for in our country! Resign already! mschewww!