Expecting NIGERIA

Awoke with no inkling of what a difficult day it would be. Got some work done and sent off to my advisor. Still on a grass diet, so rounded up some fruits for breakfast while eyeing my chicken and all the other good stuff that I could have had but chose not to. I need to be healthy and if giving up chicken and other foods is what it will take, well, so be it!

Made it to work at a decent time and bam! My day goes south! Nothing has the power to take me from zero to stark raving mad like Nigeria does, well.......and B. Ok, and a whole lot of other things, what? Am a passionate kind of person, sue me!

Anyway, Nigeria is in the news again and its not good, never seems to be these days! Bombs and bombs and bombs! People dying, body parts everywhere and even some looting! When did we become like this as a people? I am distraught!This is just not what Nigeria ought to be! 

On Twitter, there's that one going on about people not ascribing political undertones...what does that even mean? The other one, like clockwork comes to 'condemn' and my headache increases in decibels.

Who are these jokers in charge of my Nigeria? The entire ramifications of this day will never cease to be profound to me. I hate violence of any sort and believe very much in the biblical injunction to 'as much as lies with you, live in peace with ALL men'. I actually pursue it and I have found that its reward lies in another bible passage 'If a man's (woman's) ways please  the Lord, He will cause even his enemies to be at peace with him'. 

Not so with Nigeria, seems the more in love I am with her, the more determined she is to break my heart. Nothing I do will make her rise to my expectations of greatness for her and while I want to be gracious and kindhearted and be at peace, she just makes it impossible! I blame myself for trying. I should know that expectations from a lover always lead to heartbreak but I have loved her for so long, I know no other way. I am now determined to reduce my expectations to the barest minimum and hope (and pray!) that she will begin to meet them and mayhaps surpass them........

I am no longer going to expect that a President will have the intelligence to know that he is in charge and he is supposed to act and speak as a representative of all things Nigerian, no! I will only expect him to act and speak like he is a man, an unsure man about what he is expected to do about the  myriad problems of this nation of mine.

I am no longer going to expect that the Senators and Reps will do as they ought when faced with gross incompetence in the management of all the affairs of this nation and ask for responsible people to step up and take responsibility and face the consequences of their actions or inactions, no! I will only expect that they will sit around and perform perfunctorily so as to assuage their guilty hands and hearts and sacrifice their electorate on the altar of greed and demonstrate their poverty of purpose excellently.

I am no longer going to expect the people who serve the nation in various capacities to attempt to do a good job and demonstrate that they are qualified for the job they have been employed to do and develop the potential in them at the same time as developing this 'our' Nigeria, no! I will only expect them to show up enough times to qualify for a share of the national cake, do their jobs like they are doing everyone a favor and be very incompetent at it and refuse to feel ashamed because we all are now the standard for mediocrity and not just in Africa but the world over.

I am no longer going to expect that when someone is called  a student, its because they actually will commit to doing some studying at some point in their lives and hope they actually learn something, and build up their intelligence by diligence and independent study, no! I will expect students to be those who spend all their time waiting to be spoon fed ideas by others, who generally are too lazy to think for themselves and who are willing tools for subversive elements in society for a few kobos.

I am no longer going to expect that Nigerian means a quiet, dignified, unassuming, highly intelligent and accomplished African who knows the world and approaches it with a sense of respect as much for who she is as who she expects others to be, no! I am going to be the only Nigerian who can be so described and even though I may stand alone for Nigeria, I am not expectant that anyone will stand with me. 

I am no longer expectant. I am now stark raving mad at Nigeria and Nigerians who say one thing and do another! And because I do not have the ability (yet!) to cause the change I want to see, I am going to be the change I need to see! And why? Because I am Nigerian and because Nigeria is me! @##$%%$#@@#$$%$$#@@!#