Last Will & Testament

I have always wondered why some people are afraid of writing wills. All it needs is, I, so so so and so, being of sound mind and body (not necessarily, but you know lawyers, they will attest to anything!) hereby state that this is my last will and testament. Along those lines and then you go on and state who will get what out of your numerous properties and liabilities. 

Me, I am constantly revising the one I wrote several years ago and many times, I worry about it not being found if I were to die because its password protected on my laptop (Note to self-you really need to print it out and get it notarized!). 

I have always found enjoyment (morbid but still, enjoyment) in deciding who would get what when I die. And this has nothing to do with dying anytime soon either. Just 2 reasons, one is that I truly find it tedious that people who claim to love their family make a huge mess of things that these people, in addition to grieving for their loved one, also have to try and sort out their affairs at great expense when they die. 

Second reason is that, after writing your will, sit back and put your life in perspective by trying to see what the need is for acquiring all of the stuff that you are trying so hard to acquire right now and if you dont get it, my dear, you never will. Life is more than material things and those things pass onto others when we leave here with or without our say-so. 

Its not fair but it is what it is! So anyone who has worked for more than 5years should write a will and that means from age 21, one should have a will (when you notarize it is another matter!). 

In Africa, I think its a nightmare for a man to die intestate. Aside of the fact that some (dodgy) cultural views make the woman's earning power of no consequence, which is sad becos even stay at home mums do a huge part of the job of contributing to the family's wealth (you dont believe? ask those in the UK who pay through their noses for childcare!). And this is usually the reason for relatives who swoop down (yes na! Airforce!) on a distraught widow, dispossessing her of everything she could count as wealth to care for the children, the fruits of said union.

This is why I think everyone should write a will, I know the men are the ones usually encouraged to do this but I see very savvy women nowadays running their lives admirably and acquiring properties that I am worried the men will be dispossessed of in the unfortunate incidence (Gawd forbid!) of their translation someplace else. 

Plus the amount of money that some women spend on stuff would make it criminal for them to not have a say in what happens to the stuff when they die. All her brazilian hair, Jimmy Choos,  Louboutins and those H & C shirts and tons of strange coloured shoe and bag combinations and laces of every colour. I wont even talk of the power suits!

So, state explicitly that the Mr gets your monies, yes, even the one from your cooperative society (or should that be secret society) and all your property. If you have bought land, houses, cars or investments in your name, they should accrue. State that your junior sister can have the brazilian weave and your shoes after your daughter picks out what she likes. State that your laptop, iPad, Kindle and blackberry and all the other 'toys' should go to your son or brother (that may take the edge off their crying for ten seconds at least). 

Dont forget to put in the proviso that all of this happens if your husband continues to care for your kids and all the stuff are to be held in trust for your children till they are of age. Do not neglect to find the friend that your husband can not stand to be his watchdog and constitute a board of strange bedfellows who will ensure that your wishes are carried out or else.....

Do not forget to bequeath something to nephews, nieces, godsons and goddaughters and strangers who have become family becos you adopted them. If there are people you are responsible for on your side of the extended family, please give this responsibility over to your husband. 

Do be truthful about your indebtedness as at the date you write the will. It helps. It calls to mind 2 separate incidents when a dear friend died.

A family friend told me of how she had asked him to buy her a car and when she gave him the money (which was quite a bit!), she had asked for a written statement that she had done so. He had written her a one page note stating that he had received the money and probably becos she had recently lost her husband, she was very wary. Less than a month later, this man was dead, shot by armed robbers. Her only proof that he had collected the money from her, a one page note written in jest. I revised my will that night.

The other incident was a deal he had done with and for a multinational company which he had told his wife about. Upon his death, the company had contacted the family to try and locate her so the money could be paid to her. Without prior knowledge of this, she might have missed out on the benefit of his work. I password protected my will that night.

Now, I am not asking you to like or dislike full disclosure, each has its benefits. Just know, the money will go somewhere if something happens to you. 

Contrary to what you may have been told, money is not useful to you after you die. Write a will, make it your ultimate gift to those you leave behind, when you have to go. But if you have reasons to make their lives miserable, a will may also be the ultimate revenge!

I, Adenike, being of sound mind and body, hereby give my money to the girls, and declare my liabilities be shared by so, so and so........ahhahahahahahahhahahaha(evil laugh!)!!!!!!!!!!