Typical Big G Conversation

Rousing......

Me:      I love you, Lord, thanks for bringing me awake to a new day,thanks for everything.

Big G:  I love you, how are you this morning?

Me:    Am good,would be better when I am truly awake. How are M & M this morn? 

Big G:  They are well...their angels tell me those ones are having a good time, Mb in particular, impish little one, reminds me of you a few seconds ago.

Me:   Ahn ahn, dont do that, I am genteel......

Big G:  NOT! But no wahala......need to talk or just marching out?

Me:   Crap! Dont pull that on me!

Big G:  She's swearing (turning to angels and elders...sorry!) Nike, how many times do I have to tell you that the angels around you turn red when you swear and its not fun to watch for us here?

Me: Sorry!I thought it was BS and the others you meant, but I like crap, oh crap, I dunnit again,no?*peeking out from under duvet* (Sorry guys!)

Big G: You may want to revise your speech before you go home and yes! I can hear those thoughts too, so scrap them too!

Me: That's an idea right there! I can use scrap or scram. Cut me some slack! It was you who started this. You know that 'talk' thing always gets me. Give me my orders and let's carry on.....

Phone rings.....

Me: Hey Nike, ba wo ni? No, you didnt wake me, I was already awake. Thanks jare, that's ok, yes, do that, thanks. Miss and love you, ok, bye! (convo with bff).

Big G: Do you want to hear or no? And about your bff, she's fine! Stop worrying, she has a good head on her and I dont need her here yet, she is doing great good where she is!

Me: Why do you do that? I am not worrying. So how is B today?

Big G: He is B today? What has he done now? Wanna talk about it? 

Me: Haba! Is that not his name? Ok, his name's first letter? What's wrong with using it?

Big G: As if I dont know all his aliases, dont worry, he's fine! no one is going to kidnap him in Bayelsa! His angels told me yesterday, he is more careful these days.

Me: Thanks, glad to know. So, orders!

Big G: Why are you doing that? They are not orders, just guidance if you want it.

Me: Ok, if you say so, I know what I know and I just would like to say....

Reaching over to switch laptop on......

Big G: there goes any chance of talking to you now, you see why I mess with you? You dont have my time....

Me:  That is too cute, you! Big G, forming needy? Puhleeez!

Big G: Now I really have to mess with you! 

Me: Oh! Please! Not today, the last time, you know how bad it went! I dont like when strangers come up to me and speak in your voice, please!

Big G: You blame me for everything, I did not mess with you, that was your angel trying to talk to you but you did not listen, he did it! With my permission!

Me: See what am saying? The trail always leads to you, so go on, mess with me, I kuku cant do anything about it.

Big G: Come on, dont be like that. Ok, I need you to speak to this guy about me.

Me: You need ME to speak about you to someone? Waoh! Must be someone who really likes me if you are using me.

Big G: See what am saying? You are quick on the uptake! Precisely, he will listen if you speak as you should.

Me: oh oh! That doesnt sound good, as I should? Seriously? Dont even go there, when I ask for orders, you say they are not, now you go on about 'how I should?'

Big G: Issokay, just speak is all I ask, I trust your ability to reach him.

Dragging my ass off the bed.....

Me: Oh ok! I ma do my best!I have some issues, can we talk about that now?

Big G: You know you can talk to me anytime.

Me: Yes, I know, I just need a quick cure for a pretty little 2year old with chicken pox, can you swing it?

Big G: Done! And her mum is gonna be fine, so stop worrying!

Me: Was not worrying, was just going to ask for some TLC for her is all.

Big G: Done! And the other one with the leg issue, wrapped in TLC also!

Me: Waoh! You are going at full speed this morning!

Big G: Yes! I want you to remember how being loved feels so you can tell your guy what I am about.

Me: BTW Not my guy! But I already said I would and you will help me cos he has issues cos of 'your people'.

Big G: I have told you to stop calling them my people, my people do my will, those ones are just going at life like I dont exist or am in Satan's league, abeg, let's tok anoda tin!

Me: I like when you speak like that. I know, very tedious to try to get them to listen, but I do what I can. 

Big G: Your bus is approaching, and please dont swear! Not even in your head!We still hear it loudly here!

Me: Oh!@#@$@#@$@ *running* Am too old for this!

Panting in the bus.......

Big G: Nike, Nike, how many times will I tell you about swearing?

Me: I did not swear......out loud & you guys up there can handle whatever I say, abi ona no dey listen to Americans?

Big G: Well, you have a point, but pls tone it down, not many who get into the inner courts do as you do.

Me: So, am your insight into what 'the others' do then? I like that!

Big G:  Shaking my head at you right now! 

Me: That is sooo cool! Big G SMH, wish I could share that with some stuffed up CHRISTIANS!

Big G: Nike, dont make fun of them! 

Me: Me? noooo, am jessaying ni, not making fun of them, they do that all by themselves!

Big G: Now SMH at you.....

Me: Be like that! Did I already thank you for last night's work? 

Big G: You did and I can make it happen again if you want but I saw how shocked you were last night so I wont!

Me: *gasping* That was not funny! I heard you laughing at me when I started doing nursery rhymes, not fair!

Big G: hahahahahahaha....it was very precious seeing your face when you eventually fell asleep. You go on too much about your ability to control it, I had to mess with you so you know noni!

Me: Issokay! Enjoy my pain....ttyl!