FULL GISTS- The finale

I wish I had written them all together but (at the risk of sounding like a broken record) e nor easy! Combining work, children and a life aint easy in most places, in Nigeria, its a horror movie with 5 gruesome parts! Wish I knew a way around it, but short of bailing out on my ....country (what did you think?) I can only do what I am doing ie, make the best of a bad situ. 

Snippet 6

Anyway, here I am, very undecided about a continuing relationship with church-going. Very distressed by all of the reports going around about prophets that are taking advantage of innocents which makes me re-evaluate a lot about my church going and try to streamline things and while in that very sensitive place, I go into this church and this person walks up to me and tries to get me to buy into a vision that I am unable to see even with my full strength glasses on. I have no issues with that, every sales man is entitled to make his pitch but at least make an effort to be learned enough to be aware of who I am and attempt to connect with me so that I may become convinced and perhaps part with a fraction of what you'd hoped to get from me but to approach me with no eye contact, dodgy story about the Holy Spirit asked you to collect (wait for it!) AT LEAST 250k from me? Forshure, you are smoking some very bad somethings! In order of mayhaps, expired toilet cleaner, cheapass toilet cleaner, some very badly mixed gbana with banana leaves or plain old badly cut cocaine! 

I am all for supporting the church but the reason its called support is that its MY decision to do it as I am led. All your sales pitch does is rile me up to the point where I am not even interested in whatever it is you are doing cos if you have to resort to these car salesmen tactics, might it not be that its you we are supporting much more than God's work?

Snippets 7

I must apologize beforehand. I have no business being sanctimonious with this but I just think this Madam takes the biscuit where irresponsible parenting is concerned. The reason I apologize is, I just came back to my girls that I left for a 9month period to go be a better Radiologist and today is a good day to talk about this as I did my first Ultrasound since returning today and all those grey and white dots actually meant something today, was able to help a bitch ( aptly named Bitch) with a feminine problem today (yaaay!!!).

Anyway, as I was saying before I went off at a tangent, she shows up for the party, unfortunately (for me) meets my very nice husband and does a woman thingy on him. Goes thus- she 'Mo told us you invited only her friends so I want to drop only her friend and will return at 6pm to pick her up, is that ok? him-'haba! you can drop them all, its ok! (KMT!) Imagine the same convo with me as the one who has to respond.....she-'Mo told us you invited only her friends so I want to drop only her friend and will return at 6pm to pick her up, is that ok? me- oh, that's ok!but please make sure she is picked up or we may donate her to the Recreation Club!' 

But she must have a great guardian angel cos she met my very nice husband when she arrived. That is how we were blessed with 3 kids more, not a real problem, we were prepared for more kids than could come anyway! And then she ups the ante. My husband had come to check with me that his magnanimity would not be frowned upon and she had followed and at that point I wanted to be nice so she may feel hubby and I are alike and so I said, ok. Only for her to ask when the party ends and I reply, at 6pm. This woman came to test me, (@#$$%##@), cos she then asks what will happen if someone does not return for her kid by 6pm,(I was done being nice!) I respond, 'we will have to donate them to the Recreation Club'. I see a visible gulp that I mistook for concern. She proceeds further!

Where do you live? I ask why, is she looking for someone to adopt the kids? She says becos she has to go somewhere and may not make it back by 6pm and I feign severe worry, I tell her, I WILL leave at 6pm or some minutes after(deflecting her question-the reason I asked for the party to be away from home is so I could leave it behind when it was over, I was not taking any extra kids home, no way!). She approaches and conspiratorily whispers that she HAS to attend a show that starts at 4pm. I advise her to come around then to pick her kids as I would truly leave as I was bone tired as it was (at 2pm). I saunter off to see to other guests and collect my husband on the way and educate him on women's ways. About 10minutes later, I am approached by another guest who is wondering if this Madam is sane. Why? I ask tentatively, not really wanting to know but being polite (a.k.a. nice). Apparently, Madam had approached this stranger to her, and asked where she lives, looking for a ride for her kids. This prompted me to find out what kinda 'show' Madam was attending that was so important and it was some MTN free comedy show! What is so important about that? 

I'm one to talk! Just that I felt really surprised that a person would in the Nigeria of today, be willing to entrust 4 burrifu children to perfect strangers for a free comedy show and even though I appreciated every single person who took time to come, Madam gave me a new understanding of the phrase, left holding the baby. I worried throughout the party & did a headcount several times during the short period of this party till some random man came for the kids and I sense he felt I was tedious becos I asked each of the kids if they knew him and even took the youngest aside to ask if she knew him to be sure I wasnt handing the children over to some ritualist. But she hasnt called me or sent the Police after me, so I figure they made it home or she finally found someone to adopt them. Whichever way, she is the champion of the parry!