Nurturing My Girls

I was asked to speak about how I nurture my children and even though this is a talk to be given in church, I do not have a lot of religious stuff to say. I do not wish to scandalize and therefore I begin with a  Christian hymn, God give us Christian Homes. 

God, give us Christian homes!
Homes where the Bible is loved and taught,
Homes where the Master's will is sought,
Homes crowned with beauty Thy love hath wrought;
God, give us Christian homes;
God, give us Christian homes!

It is foundational but not exclusive, I know a number of people raised in unorthodox and non-christian family settings who turned out great and many from Good Christian Homes that I would not touch with a ten foot pole. But I am asked to speak of myself. I chose a good christian home as foundation becos I experienced one growing up and that helped in more ways than one to curb me as I am in sore need of curbing. 

Next, I chose to be a mother to my children, even though atypical, still, a mother, an example who is there and who is real. The girls have seen me cry, laugh, happy, unhappy. They have seen me mad, crazy, hungry and very determined. They know I am human and still I get in their face and ask for better than the best from them and they rise up to it and give it, why? 

Becos I am their mother, I show them unconditional love and our relationship is well defined. I can morph so fast they are unsure what I will be next and that is becos I take my role as a mother seriously. And I do not ever make them feel like I am in their life for fun, no! I am in their life for guidance & that guidance means using the sum of my experiences to nudge them in the right direction, the rest is up to them. 

That is why as children right now, I am helping to shape their minds so that they will have something to make decisions with. I do not want clones of me, I do not want pieces of submissive jelly who will Yes, Mummy me into a cardiac arrest. I want a child who will tell me No and explain why so I can come round to her way of thinking which should be an enlightenment for me.

Day before yesterday, I tried to share my morning with Mo v 1 and I talked about how we had margaritas at work at 9 am to celebrate Cinco de Mayo. I went on immediately to explain what a margarita was and realised she was very quiet and at some point she said, 'mum, I may not have tasted one, but I do know what a margarita is'. I shut up quick! This is an almost ten year old who reads voraciously and asks me questions that makes me understand that as well exposed as my sister and I were as children, we never were this knowledgeable and my heart swells with pride. 

Ten minutes later, she says to me in a really childish voice for that is what she still is, a child, she says, 'I want my Mummy, cant wait to see my Mummy'. And tears of gratitude fill my eyes becos she is still just a child! I am thankful, she still has this innocence. The world is alright again.

Did I know what to do when I started out as a parent? Of course not! That is the World's biggest bullcrap, if you are told that by anyone. Did I know how difficult and rewarding? I suspected but never knew the extent tho. So where did I find the strength and help? 

Two main sources-the first, Big G, my source. The second, Parents, everywhere, the ones who do well, so I can copy their methods and the ones whose methods show me how not to do it. These are my 2 greatest resources for how to be the a nurturing parent to my girls. 

In nurturing them, I feed them from my experiences and hopefully will let them go when it is the right time and watch them make the transition from child to young adult by His grace. They hopefully will uphold some of the things I wish them to know and will teach them before then.

They are as different as chalk and cheese and so, one method does not fit all, while Mo v1 is the ultimate good girl, Mo v2 can test the patience of a saint while twisting her halo and making funny faces. I have learnt to distinguish between what works for each of them and utilise it instead of saying to either that her sister never did that and to which they always have a smart reply....smh.

I am deeply grateful for them but realise the priviledge of being Mummy carries the responsibility of doing enough to be worthy of a prefix to Mummy and a great one for that matter. I am hopeful that the words of Josh Groban's song, 'Raise me up' will be what is on their lips come time to say how I raised them especially where it says, 'I am strong when I am on your shoulder, you raise me up, to more than I can be..........