STAYING IN AMERICA

I am staying in America. Yes! I have finally seen the light! Who wants to go back to Africa or Nigeria for that matter? I am staying in America jor! I just need help deciding if I should stay or go. What happens if I should decide to stay?

That way, I can have light 24 and a half hours a day. Never have to experience a blackout in my lifetime! Only that's not true, blackouts have been known to happen in America but that's because the weather does terrible things to the people like switching off their electricity supply, taking their homes and relocating it without notice and making them cry but at least its not people who had no toys as children doing it. That makes it ok.

That way, I can have access to great tasting food. Never mind that it is loaded down with all manner of stuff that I am not even sure I should mention their names here, pesticides, growth stimulants, mood enhancing drugs, all of which cause the people who eat them to grow at a disproportionate rate and to experience all manner of emotions that need other drugs to treat, but at least the food is available and affordable & if you cant afford it, food stamps will be made available to you. That makes it ok.

That way, I can have easy access to great shopping, either through the Goodwill store where people I dont know send the clothes they dont want or like and I can go get it so that I dont feel like I am buying bend-down or from the regular great shops where I can never afford to buy anything full price but always have to wait till a dubious sale is announced and then I can go and buy something that sold for $39.99 at $35.99 after its been sitting there a whole year and no-one wanted anything to do with it, but at least I bought it, reduced. That makes it ok.

That way, I can drive on smooth roads in my brand new car. Never mind that I have to pay 75% of my income to be able to afford the car and whenever my hours of work drop, I am so worried, I start to purge. Am in a quandary because I need the car to get to work to pay for the car but at least I can rock it. That makes it ok.

That way, I can walk around at whatever time of the day or night without fear of the 'boys' harassing me. I can get up at 1am and walk to the gym and not be afraid that anyone will decide they hate the look of me and attack me for no other reason than that they can and I will be found dead the following morning but at least, my death will be investigated and my killer found. That makes it ok.

The only problem is that I will miss Nigeria too much.

The sound of 'Up Nepa' when the electricity returns and the curses when it is 'taken'.

The organic food, rich taste and truly satisfying (albeit girth increasing) food that hits the spot so well, the only thing you want to do is lie back and let all that fat and gunk march to places where they might be forbidden for good health. 

The ease with which my work is done and savings are brought together for a trip to The America which means we can buy all those things that we are offered in Nigeria at 16 times the price, (for cheaper quality) and so we buy buy and cart excess luggage home that makes nonsense of the price of our bargains, but we had a great time.

So what will it be now? Who will help me decide? I need to decide real quick!