WRITERS' BLOCK

I have writers' block!
This is an attempt to write. Anything.
Considering I have five uncompleted projects,
I should not lack material to write about but I have hit a brick wall.
Solid mortar. Nothing. A big fat zero.

My big fat nothing makes me feel bad and this makes things worse because I now feel guilty that I have not accomplished set goals and it adds to my frustration. Beginning to feel like a mouse on a spinning wheel, very busy working but not getting anywhere. 

I would scream for help but it wont achieve much. The help I need would involve brain surgery, removal of some of my grey matter and replacement with cotton wool. I am hampered by knowledge, hindered by my perceived ability. I need to relocate someplace where I am unknown and I can be as incompetent as I wish without reminders of how excellent my ability to do or be is.

Researching my 'problem', I search for 'writers' block on Google and in 0.30seconds, she tells me there are 65,800,000 results which means if this is the issue I have, I will find help online. Whether I will benefit from the help is another matter. 

The definition I like says,
'Writer's block is a condition, primarily associated with writing as a profession, in which an author loses the ability to produce new work'.

I like this definition because it does not judge me, it assumes that even those who are no writers or aspiring writers can develop the condition. Thus when it says 'primarily associated with writing as a profession', it includes me in the number and so, its a good description of the condition I currently have.

I write when I am happy, I write when I am sad, I write for any reason and no reason at all. Recently, I started to actually feel like I could write, write enough to have people actually spend time, valuable time, reading what I had written and so i started to blog but that was when I had reduced responsibilities by being away from home.

Back home now and I can hardly meet up all the responsibilities I should; wife, mother, daughter (in law) and friend, all of which pay non-tangible remuneration in terms of cash. Radiologist, Lecturer, student, researcher, which pay my bills and threaten to make me pull out my very short hair.

I think I started this post by saying I have writers' block, make that, I used to have writers' block!