Parenting these days.....

I attended a PTA meeting a couple of hours ago at my daughter's school & it left a bad taste in my mouth. Before I continue, here's my caveat. I am not the best behaved human on earth, even though I try (and fail severally) and my parenting skills sometimes leave a lot to be desired. I also get that, but my issue nowadays is that it appears that parenting does not mean what I thought it meant anymore and I am now severely worried. I have, only in the past week, come face-to-face (figuratively) with a number of scenarios that make me shake my head and wonder at how those who claim the title actually expect ANYTHING from their children when their own standards of behaviour obviously leave quite a bit (rme) to be desired.

But, as usual, I digress....as I was saying (?), here I was trying not to burst a vessel with my hubby's sedate driving skills, but only because the detour that had delayed us had been mine, and in the face of such guilt, pointing out the obvious (the car speedometer is caliberated to about 180km/hr, but he is a frugal man, going over half that is dangerous!Y'all see why he needs me?) would not have been appreciated, forget the small matter(s) of, we were late, the road was clear & car can move (like Jagger?!). Anyway, need to tell the correct story!

We made it into the hall as the meeting began and I sat down & breathed to steady the blood pressure (I kid you not!). The meeting progresses in earnest, Chairman's speech, Principal's speech, and then we are told that 2 people had presentations of products that may appeal to some parents and off we go. 1st up was a priest trying to crack some dry jokes (Father forgive me!) and I have no idea what the correct stance is nowadays with relating with priests (ended my association when I left St Mary's Private School in Primary 4) but I was ready to throw eggs at him at some point,puh-leeze! If those are the raps he preaches with, I am sure his congregation get a good sleep at every mass! After OBVIOUSLY exceeding the time allotted & passed a note twice, he slinks off, sulking.....

As the next speaker approaches, parents begin to clap their hands....their point? They are not interested in any other products and ( as I later gathered) many of them are travelling to far places like Benin & need to end the meeting pronto! This young lady impressed me. She curtsied several times as she explained that she wanted to introduce a product ( which IMO many of the ........ok, parents in that hall needed far more than the priest's BTW) and would speak for 2 minutes and if she exceeds that time point, she could be clapped off (no one appeared to get that jibe!). She went on to speak for 5 minutes before she was clapped off (as against like 35 minutes by boring priest!).

Now the drama unfolds or as normal(?) writers would write, the plot thickens...(insert James Bond music here, Producer!). As soon as she left, a lady started things off by asking why parents should clap off a person who had been given the green light to speak to .....ok!parents! She felt it was not proper & we should be ashamed of ourselves! Who? Me? I didn't clap! I still cringed cos this woman said my thoughts out loud and honestly, the entire hall sounded and felt (to me, i.e.) like a child who was caught with her hand in the cookie jar & was told off. Next, a man actually apologized and pointed out that things should be sped up to not lose time we were trying to save. At this point, I expected to hear closing prayer things but no!

Do you know I sat there while like 7 parents, all of whom assured the house that they were going to speak on unrelated issues, rehashed this issue of time being wasted, to the end that 45 minutes later, the Chairman had to beg for the motion to adjourn the meeting to be made and even at that, some had post motion comments (under the guise of seconding said motion). By which time I was frothing at the mouth with indignation. This isn't all, if you are wondering if this is why I am sad at parenting or an apparent lack of what parenting skills should be......it gets worse!

We eventually make it out of the hall with very specific instructions to await the girls who should be along in about 10 minutes or so. We all stream towards the designated wait area and in under 5 minutes, some parents had crossed to the classes despite stern warnings not to do so as this would distract the girls & their teachers who needed to pass final instructions across. Soon, every access out of this area was blocked by eager parents awaiting their daughters oblivious to the fact that many of the girls bearing suitcases & heavy bags were now standing around looking very confused and wondering how to proceed. Eventually, a teacher had to come ask (several times!) that parents should please leave a pathway for these girls to locate their parents.

Did I mention that this inability to comprehend simple English added yet more time to the time that these parents wanted saved or that I glimpsed several of these parents trudging out of classes from which we had been specifically restricted? So if we as parents find understanding and following simple instructions difficult with our children as witnesses, how do we hope to enforce such with them? Don't mind me! Who I dey ask?

Parenting should normally mean that you show the way through words and actions of how to attain a quality of life that improves with each generation based on improved lifestyle choices, education and opportunities. It may not necessarily be an easy relationship between parents and children but there must never be any doubt as to the ability to clearly go ahead and forge a path upon which the child then treads, all the time using the information & examples of the parent as foundation to create their own reality, but what do I know? I fear that the reason we see such inappropriate behaviour  among the youth today is that we parents are unaware that an example is not spoken especially in life lessons. It really does not matter how much you speak a thing, children know to ignore your speech & go with your actions, thus parenting is ALL about doing the right things & its only THEN that we can ask for proper behaviour from our children, as parents!!! 'Nuff said!

Me?! I recuse myself from further PTA meetings, who wan die?