HAPPY FATHERS’ DAY!!!

Its Fathers’ day in the morning and there is a particular gentleman who has kept up a steady rant over the years about the difference in the value ascribed to this day when put side by side with Mothers’ Day (which in Nigeria seems to have been cloned several times to ensure that women folk get several days of attention from children and spouses alike).

Not that they don’t get the attention on other days oh! (who wan die?). Anyway, this elderly gentleman feels there is too much of a disparity between the way the different (and supposedly) equal roles of men and women in the lives of their children is celebrated and I tend to agree.

Hear him:

“On Mother's Day, we were all here. And we certainly did not go to the hardware store to buy mommy a We love You Mommy cake. We did not go to the hardware store to get her favorite pasta dish, who wan die? Mothers are powerful like that. Me, black and male. That is how I will come back in the next life, white and female and black men will be in charge. God does not like me! Wallahi! Happy Father's Day to me! *weeps*”

I have tried to ignore his rants  but the few grains of truth in his claims have refused to let me rest and so I thought it may be apt to do a Fathers’ day shout out to a couple of fathers that I know. Those awesome men who are truly a description of what fatherhood represents, who point one towards the Father, the loving God who mayhaps inspires my own outlook on Fatherhood.

So these men, male, awesome specimens of their kind, they do more than most to ensure their children receive that which they should and then some. They start caring early in life, for their children’s lives that is, affirming the nurture of the vessel that will birth their child, ensuring her comfort, seeing to a sacrificial provision for the quirky things that pregnancy can make the said vessel crave.

From Mama Ope rice to fruits that do not exist anywhere near where you live, the inability to cook that turns some of these men to take-out specialists, the inability to stomach the smells of his after-shave, her favourite perfume and her former favourite snack that you went and bought tons of, so you didn't have to keep returning to the store……

They graduate to pillars of support that stay up late into the night, rubbing backs, being extra gentle during lovemaking because the feverish coupling she wanted last week is nothing like she wants this week. Unable to understand the physical changes, but quite willing and able to indulge the physical as much as they understand it.

They are there with support, much more than financial at the bringing forth. Not rolling their eyes at the drama unfolding, and even if they do, it’s done above her line of vision. They celebrate the birth, think long and deep about the name this offspring will bear, asking her for ideas and listening to long winded reasons why she wants to name him the one name he really truly can’t stand, the particular version of it that he detests the most.

They are there through nursing, they help validate her personhood when diapers threaten to override and overwhelm her, and as the tiny tot starts to wind them around their tiny finger, they take responsibility, they do not complain about how tired she is or the fact that her figure has changed somewhat.

They assert the authority that makes the little one hide behind her skirt, looking up with hurt filled eyes at him and wondering why mummy lets him get away with things they can’t. After all, he is just a child, granted, he sleeps in mum’s room but everyone can see mummy does everything for him, just like for me…..or is he not the one who runs around looking for a second pair of socks in the morning, just like me?

They do school runs, pack lunches, do short and long term stand-ins. They moan about how expensive school fees are getting but ensure it is paid on time, always supply what is needed at home, mostly sacrificially and mostly pseudo-complainingly. They bear pressure under some extreme circumstances when all they would like to do is cry, they remain, pillars.

These men who are Fathers and have a nurturing heart who are not infallible and constantly trying, hoping to make a difference are well loved and celebrated every single day, young, old, slim, fat, short, tall, dark, black, white, they rawk!

So, for Fathers, this Fathers’ Day, do not moan and rant and rave at the injustice of the Mothers’ Day (s) celebrations, for this is for you……..

Bola, Emeka, Akin, Abdul, Greg, Biodun, George, Bayo, Michael, Yinka, Chinedu, Yomi, Chukwudi, Victor, Dele, Mohammed, Tunde, and men far too numerous to mention one by one, this one is for y’all!!!

HAPPY FATHERS’ DAY!!!!!!