My remembrance of her....

I had just spent a weekend dealing with symptoms I hate to even think about or remember. My Sunday went south when a colleague called to say she was in hospital. His description brought me at 100km/hr  back to how I was feeling and I knew I needed to rest some more. Lil Miss saw me take the call, saw the change in my countenance and was worried enough to come over from her task of keeping all the lil boys in church on the straight & narrow. She was being referee and walk-guide to some and even sometimes, would get a cane to scare them with. In short, she was in baby heaven…loves lil kids especially those who can’t say no to her. They all follow her about with such admiration. I assured her all was well but I was very sad.

I woke during the night & I had no instructions. I prayed but lazily, lying down. I had placed my bible in the living room so that walking to get it would wake me but I pulled verses from memory to pray instead. I had no foreboding/premonition. Only this fear of going to see her alone.

So, on getting to work on Monday, I looked for someone who would be stoic, able to pray and willing to accompany me and hold me up so I don’t break down and cry when I see her. My HOD. She had a workshop to attend in the morning and so we agreed for later in the day. So I set about my tasks for the day. I even drew up a list of people I needed to pray for in the course of my day. She was first on the list.

At around 11am, I felt the pangs of hunger and I had decided that I needed drugs to get through the week but not all of them, just the most essential. I got up to go and grab a meal and my phone rang. Same colleague who had told me about her hospitalization and who had called me earlier in the day with report of her improvement even though he was worried about some symptoms told me, ‘They said she has passed on and is at Anatomy’.

Anatomy being the morgue.

I walked to my car and as I drove out, I saw her car pull into her usual parking spot and I could not stop crying.

I know I went to get food and I remember I was sitting by Awba Dam which is my favorite ‘thinking’ place in UI.

I joined University of Ibadan staff as a Veterinary Officer at the Veterinary Teaching Hospital and when I resumed work, she was one of 2 Vets already working there. The other was Dr Akpan. Being female, we talked from time to time but she was very caustic, very. She made me think because she had been at work before me, I was to report to her but I found my job description and stuck to it.

When we worked together at the hospital, she checked on everyone and how they did their work. She had something to say about people coming late to work and even missing days at work, it earned her the name ‘Deputy Director’. She never had any reason to do it with me. I was usually at work before her and the days when I refused to work, it was like I put out a notice to the Universe, there was never any work to be done. And if there was work to be done & I decided I was doing it, it didn’t bother me none that others didn’t want to join in like it did her.

Until this one day. We got in a ruckus of her creation. She was in a bad mood and so was I and I had just had enough of her brand of BS. I let rip and before long, a show of epic proportions was live at work. Immediately I saw the eyes of all who wanted to stand up to her and couldn’t egging me on, I shut down. I walked up to her, apologized and left. We were members of the same church family. I saw the ramifications immediately and just did not want to be like that. 

After this incident, she would not respond whenever I greeted her and so I decided I would love her into loving me. I would seek her out every morning and greet her as loudly as I could muster without looking crazy and because she would not respond, I would answer myself, ‘Good morning Adenike’ or ‘Pele Adenike’.  Also, I decided that one of the issues must be how much younger she felt I was and so I would call her Aunty…

On one of those days, a Prof saw me greet her and noticed that even though I answered myself, she did not respond and so he called us both and there we discovered that a senior colleague had actually gone to her with some story from me which was untrue and so it appeared all was well. Thank God, I was prepared to reply myself next time I greeted her but she held out for only a little while after then.

At some point, she fell for me, hard. She would see me and ask for a hug. I would roll my eyes and she would be like ‘see oh! As if she is not happy to be hugging me’.  She seized every opportunity to hug me. She just was very in love with me. She liked my pranks. I play as hard as I work until I am working. And I think she was one of those who had never been in contact with someone like that.

I feel sad because she died. I hope she is at peace and I am grateful for what our relationship turned out to be. See, because I loved her. I did.

And there is no doubt in my mind that she loved me. I have searched and searched for a photo of her and Morenike. When she was about 6years old, we had been in our office at the VTH Hospital Ward 2 when Morenike had this idea to ride our horse at the time. I stayed in my office and ignored her and she must have heard her whining and complaining because the next thing I heard were her squeals of delight. She had come out of her office and made her wear her lab coat and placed her on the horse. I took a picture and for me, it was such an epic encapsulation of our relationship. I still can’t find the photo. I need to look at it and see the woman she will always be to me. A caring friend and mother.

Omodele omo Ikuomola aya Ojo iya awon omo……sun re

May light perpetual shine on you. My rememberance of you is sweet, it will always be.