Terorists (2)

She came to and saw the man who called her name, who recognized her. She felt this meant her nightmare was over. She remembered how many times she had dreamt of the moment when she would be rescued in the early days before days and nights of exhaustion and frustration made her give up such silly desires. She remembered how she always escaped in her mind to this day when her Soldier used and brutalized her and pretended this was her choice. She remembered her son and looked around in panic but saw that he had slid down to her stomach and was sound asleep. She looked around for her Soldier and saw that he was now bound hand and foot and was already in the back of a truck she hadn’t noticed before. He seemed to be struggling to say something but he had been gagged as well. She felt nothing for him; no love, anger or even pity. She had long ago decided that he was a misguided youth who followed orders of that mad man and while she did not hold him responsible for her misfortune, she had no absolution to offer him. She looked away and he seemed deflated that she was not screaming for him. She wanted nothing more than to be reunited with her family, her mother. Oh!!!

The truck she was placed in separated from other trucks after about an hour of rough driving. She wondered how some of the men on the back of the truck remained there as they only held onto the truck with one hand, they all had rifles in the other hand and seemed to be scanning the horizon for something or someone. She thought she recognized where they were but could not be sure. So many landmarks were missing and some of the houses appeared damaged and so she was unsure. But as soon as they hit a dirt road, she started to shout, she knew this road like the back of her hand. Had trudged down it too many times running errands for her mother. To her Aunty’s house, to the grainseller’s house and also to the provision store which she instinctively turned her head to look at but only emptiness greeted her eyes. It appeared word had reached her homestead as the first person she recognized started to shout and the shout was taken up by others as the truck pulled up to her father’s compound. She reached for the handle of the door as if to jump out and only the slap the soldier sitting there gave her hand prevented her from opening the door and running as fast as her feet could carry her to her mother. Her mother! But the soldier would not let her out. The soldier who appeared to be the team leader and sat beside the driver in front stepped out and walked into the compound and was gone for about 5minutes. Those 5minutes felt like an eternity and then a man she knew well appeared and the sign from the team leader magically released her from the truck and she was flying, baby and all into his arms but still she looked behind him for her mother and then, warmth and ……..home! She wept then, hot scalding tears of pain and hurt and stuff she just could not put into words.

She showed her mother the baby and started to curse its father but her mother covered her mouth with her hands and took him from her and blessed him. She looked up in confusion and her mother’s smile said so many things. Before she could respond, the team leader Soldier appeared and apologetically told her mother she had to leave. She screamed in confusion but her mother assured her it was for a short while. The government needed her and she had to go and be famous. None of it made sense and she asked if her mother could accompany her. The terror she felt at being taken from her mother again can only be imagined but no one was mindful of her panic. Everyone felt her use to the government was more important than anything else and she was not consulted. She wished she could have left her son with her mother and her father could have accompanied her. As the truck pulled away from her father’s compound, she felt panic and started to shake. The soldier on her right offered her a jacket but it smelt too much like her Soldier’s and she realized it must have been his and was taken off him when they had been found. The next couple of days were a difficult blur. 

First to the capital city and she had to meet with a kind elderly man whom she later was told was the Governor of her state and then being handed to some women who were kind enough but asked painful questions. ‘Is that your BH son?’ ‘Are you going to keep him?’ ‘ You look at him so lovingly, why?’ They all became quiet when the lady with the gentle face came in and she it was who offered her food and asked if she could hold her son. This lady brought the essentials for her and her son in a big travelling bag and for the first time, she was able to feed him milk to his satisfaction from a bottle. He looked at her with such grateful eyes and she started to cry. The women she was handed to wrinkled their noses when she went by them and she was grateful to the kind lady when she found divine smelling soap and a change of clothes in the bag she had left for her as well. She was grateful for being rescued but she did not want to be around these women.

She hardly slept and was brought awake by a fresh set of women in the morning who seemed nice enough but were totally insensitive as they discussed the #Chibokgirls. She knew she had been one of them and so found their talk very hurtful. She heard bits and pieces of the conversations and understood even less and was becoming even more frustrated at not knowing what was going to happen next. She was brought water and asked to be ready soon and she set about cleaning her baby and dressing him in the new clothes she found in the bag. She struggled with diapers and saw the women watching her and giggling. None of them offered her any help and tears of frustration stung her eyes. She was ready when the kind lady returned again with some more things for her and told her excitedly that she was to be taken to meet with the President. She cringed and asked, ‘when can I go to my mother?’ The kind lady looked offended and she felt guilty. She was grateful for the things she was given but she was exhausted and confused. She knew no one and no one asked her anything and everyone talked at her and about her. As she had come into the sleeping quarters, she had heard her name and seen her face briefly on the tv screen. She wished she could have listened for a few minutes but had been ushered into the room she was now in. She felt acutely alone and lonely. And very sad. The exact same emotions being with those terrorists evoked.

PS- Happy Children's Day to all children everywhere! The needs of a child differ from those of an adult. #justsaying