I THOUGHT OF YOU TODAY

I thought of you today

And I am stunned at the force of feeling

Even as angry at you I am

Not real anger, just frustration that you are so imperfectly perfect

I thought of you today

Shame is less what I feel now

Incredulous as always that I could be so wrong about you

I want to be gracious but I suspect you’ll take it as acceptance

I thought of you today

I miss you even more

How is it you were so impactful?

I dream of conversations with you

I thought of you today

My heart skipped a beat as usual

You are both so different

Yet you plug the hole in my heart exactly the same way

I thought of you today

And of how you ought to have a life but don’t

And how your motivations really should be someone else

How the emotions you rouse now include pity

I thought of you today

And how you were such a gift to me

I miss the advice and help but the betrayal was too grave

The irony is I miss you more than him

I thought of you today

I am usually permissive of you

Lately, I am unable to be

You take too much for granted

I thought of me today

And I saw me in all your eyes

Imperfect, Awesome, Loved & Misunderstood

And I knew I am just as you are

Managed, Tolerated, Loved, Accommodated

And my thoughts lightened

Knowing each of us struggles in different ways

But struggle we do

To do the best we can.