Final week of the year before the big one. I am tired of hungering and thirsting for it. It will take another year and there appears to be nothing i can do to hasten it up.
In this final week of the one before the big one, I am grateful. For too many things. And the way and manner they have played out.
I am grateful for my immediate family. The girls. And how they are shaping up as ladies. I remember someone used to tell them how they would understand how i am as they grow older and I did not realize I had been holding my breath but they seem to be turning out kind, considerate and totally understanding of my person and choices. And don't seem to mind very much. For this and more, I am so very thankful.
I am even more grateful for my extended family who seem to have been strategically distributed exactly how I need.
I am so thankful for love. Sometimes it is not but atimes, it is. I am grateful. I hid behind this one finger because of a label and seem to be doing okay. I don't doubt that I deserve better and will get it.
I am grateful for work. The stresses I have experienced in recent times have been mostly man-made but only because I try to be fair. I am now convinced it is the best way to be. Considering how all has played out. I am good, all is well.
As the year 2019 ended, I had an inordinate happiness that I knew was somehow but I crested it and chose to ride it out. As 2020 began, I was in the depths and did not know what to feel and how to feel it. I had the words of promise from BigG but I did not know why I felt the way I did. I am still in that emotional no man's land and its mostly cos I long for things I don't need. Just that I want them.
I have enjoyed far more grace than I think I deserve and I have found out I am overloved sef....
As I head into the big one, I already got a word that assures me of great good and so I can march confidently in. I remember someone wondering why everything that has todo with me has to first entangle before it goes smoothly. I choose to cancel that and sail on grace from here on out.
I'd like a birthday cake and a Valentine package. But all that is wishful thinking. I am not the girl who waits for stuff to happen but make things happen but I draw the line at treating myself to things like that. It takes the enjoyment away.
I look forward to when the girls can do it and choose to without being prompted.
Does anyone else look around and wonder why, despite your best efforts, there are ruined relationships all around? It is truly sad but we move.
Happy final week of the 49th year.
In this final week of the one before the big one, I am grateful. For too many things. And the way and manner they have played out.
I am grateful for my immediate family. The girls. And how they are shaping up as ladies. I remember someone used to tell them how they would understand how i am as they grow older and I did not realize I had been holding my breath but they seem to be turning out kind, considerate and totally understanding of my person and choices. And don't seem to mind very much. For this and more, I am so very thankful.
I am even more grateful for my extended family who seem to have been strategically distributed exactly how I need.
I am so thankful for love. Sometimes it is not but atimes, it is. I am grateful. I hid behind this one finger because of a label and seem to be doing okay. I don't doubt that I deserve better and will get it.
I am grateful for work. The stresses I have experienced in recent times have been mostly man-made but only because I try to be fair. I am now convinced it is the best way to be. Considering how all has played out. I am good, all is well.
As the year 2019 ended, I had an inordinate happiness that I knew was somehow but I crested it and chose to ride it out. As 2020 began, I was in the depths and did not know what to feel and how to feel it. I had the words of promise from BigG but I did not know why I felt the way I did. I am still in that emotional no man's land and its mostly cos I long for things I don't need. Just that I want them.
I have enjoyed far more grace than I think I deserve and I have found out I am overloved sef....
As I head into the big one, I already got a word that assures me of great good and so I can march confidently in. I remember someone wondering why everything that has todo with me has to first entangle before it goes smoothly. I choose to cancel that and sail on grace from here on out.
I'd like a birthday cake and a Valentine package. But all that is wishful thinking. I am not the girl who waits for stuff to happen but make things happen but I draw the line at treating myself to things like that. It takes the enjoyment away.
I look forward to when the girls can do it and choose to without being prompted.
Does anyone else look around and wonder why, despite your best efforts, there are ruined relationships all around? It is truly sad but we move.
Happy final week of the 49th year.
DR EMU YOU ARE REALLY GREAT. I WILL KEEP COMING TO YOU WHEN EVER I NEED YOUR HELP.
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