FULL GISTS 2

Snippet 4

You know a lot of people have had truly horrendous encounters on social media, and this isnt to discount their experience, I just have been luckier than most. For the most part, I have not been as circumspect in deciding who to relate with on Facebook, Twitter or the other numerous avenues available out there. This is becos I am well able to hold my own against bullies who, when they can not say stuff to your face hide behind these media to reach out and attempt to get your attention.

But as I said, I have been luckier than most. So, that auspicious day that I sent a friend request her way & gushed about being birthday mates, little did I know I would find another and develop a warm friendship with these women. I have always been blessed in never wanting friendships with women becos of all the brouhaha that surrounds them and their 'she said, they said' & thinking about it now, I have had great friendships with women (probably cos I dont seek these friendships, in fact, truth be told, I run in the opposite direction cos I feel it would always go wrong!) inspite of this my carefulity. And this particular pair are such a delight, real, authentic and I just feel their appropriateness deep down in my inward parts and I wanted to say, I appreciate the love and hope & pray you both enjoy as much as I do, this thingy (whatever it may be called) that we share! 

Madam 1, your person is waaaay too big for that body (or more appropriately known as bothe) and I do so appreciate the symbolism of who you are whether you know it or not, Great One! Madam 2, your personality, wit, charm and ability to show care and concern humbles me every single time! Gotta lot to learn (oops! dunnit again! Honest, its you who makes English impossicant for me, I just get so flustered & become a bluberring woreva, ok!) I give up!Love you both much!

Snippet 5

I refuse to do this in English! Wuz not me who started it, was at Mo's parry, her aunt, 'Ti Ope did! She is a teacher who regales me constantly with lots of tales of how badly the English language is taking a hit daily in public schools. If I could recall half of what she says, I'd have more material than Ali Baba on a good show night but we meet up from time to time & laugh and we depart & I worry. Reason is, I get almost the same from my students & sometimes, I truly cant help laughing, how do you not laugh? 

I remember many discussions also with Mayowa about why Nigerians will never just speak regular English, they have to attempt to funkify whatever it is they are saying to the point of macerating the words till its unrecognizable to your poor ears and when you eventually decipher whatever it is they are saying, it takes supreme effort to stop from bursting out in deep raucous laughter that immediately labels you the villian. 

I also remember years ago, being approached by a student during a class who whispered conspiratorily, Eskuiz me ma, May I be exsqueezed? First shock, then consternation and finally, understanding & mirth! It was all I could do to keep standing straight & answer with a serious 'lecturer' face that 'sure, you are squeezed!' It has since stuck & I have always responded to students' excuse me ma with the same line. Many of them did not know the origins but I usually take a 2minute break to laugh it off. Still as hilarious as the day it happened, those many years ago.

My advice? Stop trying so hard. With English language, less is more except you are in the leagues of people like my writer friends Ikhide & The wordsmythe. They are allowed to use those words cos people know they ought to learn new words when they read them but you, small you, wetin? And just in case you are wondering, the Nigerian accent is sexy as hell! Stop forming all these accents that you are not even getting sef! You just provide more material for comedians daily. 

I recall my birthday dinner this year, being entertained by this Engineer who should find a part-time job as a comedian with so many International accents, it was such a joy at the end of it all, to revert to our Naija accent and just enjoy speaking. That is what is interesting! Not, erm....pliz, whort tyme izzit, ma, pliz? Or, shortly they wee cum? Well, I hope not!

Wondering what I am on about? Read it here http://randomthoughts-n.blogspot.com/2012/05/snippets.html